What is a Soul Mate?
by iceangelmkx
Summary: "A soul mate is someone you carry with you forever. It's the person who knew you, accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did, or when no one else would. No matter what happens, you'll always love them." Post-ME3, Control Ending.


**This fic was inspired by Olivietta's 'Soulmate' artwork, which you can view on Deviantart.**

* * *

The third deck of the SSV Normandy SR-2 was quiet as the crew gathered together in front of the memorial wall. Some bowed their heads solemnly while other did all they could to keep the tears in their eyes at bay.

Standing amongst the group in the middle, was Garrus Vakarian, and right now, he was barely noticing the small crowd just behind him. Instead, he gazed down at the plaque held in both of his hands baring one name;

Commander Jane Shepard.

It had been weeks since the end of the Reaper War. This whole time, the Normandy was stranded on an unknown planet after a blue shock wave spread across the galaxy when the Crucible activated. Since then, the crew worked around the clock repairing the damages from the crash as well as trying to get core systems back online. That included communications.

Garrus barely ventured out of the Normandy unless it was necessary. The planet they were on reminded him of the warm, tropical paradise he and Shepard had hoped to retire in once the war was over.

When communications finally came up, they were able to connect to the Alliance, who promptly transferred them to Admiral Hackett. Through Hackett, they learned that the war was over along with the strange phenomenon of the Reapers somehow… cooperating with the rest of the universe after the Crucible blast. No one on the ship was sure what to think of that news since they all believed that the Crucible was designed to destroy the Reapers. At the time of the established contact, the Reapers were actually helping with rebuilding the galaxy.

Hackett also informed them of the death of Admiral David Anderson, Shepard's mentor and the one who led the resistance on Earth during the war. A plaque was made for Anderson, one which acting Normandy Commander, Kaidan Alenko, placed up moment ago.

Then, Hackett became more solemn when it came time to tell them about Shepard's fate… though they found her dog tags amongst the ruins of the Citadel, there was no body. For now, she was declared MIA. Sadly, Hackett was sure that her status would be updated to KIA soon enough.

That was about two weeks ago. With Anderson's plaque placed up on the memorial wall already, it was now time to place up Shepard's. After staring down at her name for who knows how long, Garrus finally gazed up at the wall in front of him. Gathering up what strength he had left, he took a deep breath before stepping forward.

Within arm's reach of the wall, Garrus slowly placed the plaque on the wall just above Anderson's name. Even when the metal strip was officially secured, Garrus' hands remained. Initially, he thought that perhaps placing her name up on the wall would be the first step in getting on with his life… Shepard would have wanted that.

However, he still felt the same… there was no sense of peace of a weight lifted off of his shoulders like he had expected.

For a while, he stood in his place, his hands occasionally grazing over Shepard's name, his body feeling numb. In his mind, he could see her smiling face and her bright eyes gazing up at him. It made his heart clench in pain, making his mandibles twitch slightly.

Garrus wasn't sure how long he stood there… it could've been minutes, it could've been hours… but eventually, he slowly stepped back from the wall. Turning around, he was almost startled by the fact that only EDI remained while everyone else had long departed, more than likely leaving him to his thoughts.

EDI's optic eyes stared at the turian through the orange glow of her visor, and he could've sworn that there was a small hint of a frown on her lips. Garrus was simply going to nod to her and head back to the main battery, but he barely took a step before she spoke.

"You always had such a strong connection to the Commander," EDI said in a matter of fact. "Like soul mates."

Garrus tiled his head a little at that. Soul mate… at some point, he had heard that term before, but he knew it was a word that didn't exist in turian culture. Perhaps it was similar to a bond mate?

"Could you… elaborate on that?" Garrus questioned.

"On what?" EDI asked.

Garrus took a deep breath. "What is a soul mate?"

EDI was quiet for a moment and Garrus realized that she was analyzing some data. It was only a couple of seconds before she answered him.

"I have read many human literatures that mentioned soul mates. I believe it is solely a human term, but… I had come up with my own conclusion to your question. It… closely resembles the way I feel about Jeff.

"It's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person." EDI then retracted her last sentence. "Actually, they don't make you a better person. You do that yourself, because they inspire you."

No truer words could have been told than what EDI just said. Since the AI acquired her body, she studied human culture extensively. In between missions, EDI would ask Shepard questions about human behavior and etiquette.

It seemed as though, this time, the roles were reversed with EDI being the teacher. He just wished Shepard could see this now... she would have been so proud of EDI.

"A soul mate is someone you carry with you forever. It's the person who knew you, accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did, or when no one else would. No matter what happens, you'll always love them."

Garrus's heart clenched at that last sentence, remember Shepard's last words to him.

"_No matter what happens here, you know I love you. I always will."_

EDI's eyes gazed down at the floor as she concluded, "Nothing can ever change that." She then looked back up at him. "That is what I believe is a soul mate."

Garrus' mandibles twitched a little. "Thank you EDI," he said quietly. "I think I'll head to the battery. If you can make sure I'm… left alone for a while, I would appreciate it."

EDI simply nodded before he departed.

* * *

When he got inside the main battery, Garrus made sure that the lock on the door was secure. He didn't want anyone to bother him for the remainder of the day.

For a while, Garrus leaned his back against the wall, unmoving as memories invaded his mind once more. The time, the smiling face and bright eyes was accompanied by her gentle laugh and the feel of her soft lips against his mouthplates. He could remember the silky feel of her hair through his bare fingers and the way she would cling close to him whenever they made love.

He shook the memories away with a roar, turning around swiftly before slamming his fist into the wall. The punch had been hard enough to leave a dent on the hull. The armored glove on his hand also shattered, cutting into his skin and leaving behind a blue blood stain on both the wall and his hand.

There was immense pain, but Garrus barely felt it underneath the raw anger he was feeling over the unfairness of Shepard's fate. She had fought so hard to end this war even before it happened and she had given up so much and gave too much… she should've had the chance to live in peace!

Breathing heavily, Garrus began to turn, intending to go to his work station and, once again, try to calibrate the Normandy's guns, even though he had done it a million times since they crash landed. However, he didn't even finish turning when he noticed something he hadn't seen before.

There, on the weapon's bench, was Shepard's helmet.

He wasn't sure how it got there… perhaps it had been here the whole time and he just didn't realize it. It may have been left there after one of their last missions before they went to Earth. Or perhaps it was brought down here by one of the crew… he wasn't sure.

Garrus approached the bench, his blue eyes gazing down at the helmet for a moment before he picked it up with both of his hands. Looking at the visor, he could remember all the time he saw those beautiful eyes though them on their missions.

"I couldn't have done this without you Garrus," she had once said to him.

"Sure you could," he had replied. "Not as stylishly of course."

Taking a deep breath, Garrus went down one of the small steps in the main battery and headed over to the cot he had there. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he continued to gaze down at the helmet before one more memory clouded him…

"_Come back alive," he had whispered to her in one of their last moments together. "It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."_

_In reply, Shepard leaned up to him and pressed her lips against his mouth. She held on to his shoulders while he wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him. At this point, he didn't care about the fact that there were others in the room._

_Before he knew it, Shepard ended the kiss, though their arms remained around each other. "Goodbye Garrus," she whispered. He noticed her eyes squinted a little, and he knew that it was her way of holding back her own tears. "And if I'm up there in that bar and you're not." Her voice wavered in her next words. "I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone."_

Garrus shook his head, his eyes clenched tight. "Never…" he choked.

Suddenly, he tension he had felt after that night snapped and the numbness dissipated in an instant. With one hand stilling holding Shepard's helmet, his brought the other to cover his face as tears fell from his eyes and sobs escaped his throat. Soon, the echoes of his wails reflected off the wall of the main battery, the sorrow and grief he was feeling threatening to drown him and rip the very fabric of his soul.

And in that moment, he never felt more alone…


End file.
